Waffle

What Do I Want?

Posted on: December 8, 2007

Sometimes I question myself on what I really want. Time and again, I change my directions. I don’t think I know exactly what I want. There are so many things that I pick up and choose to give up later on. It seems that there ain’t anything that I insist on having. Nothing in my life seems just that important to be insist on.

It’s time to make conscious considerations and not rash or uninformed decisions. It’s time to gather what I value in Life and put them into my decisions. Be it my career choices, relationships, beliefs or daily standard operational procedures.

I have grown to realise how much I don’t like the lifestyle of accountants and auditors. The extremely disproportionated work-life balance. The not-so-value-added services. I would like careers with more fun and challenging factors, better work-life balance, proportionate returns for hard work, more value creating activities. I am currently looking at Finance, Hospitality and Public Relations. That’s the direction I am going to put myself on when I apply for University.

Relationship-wise, I am definitely not ready. Loneliness often bothers me but I ask myself, do I need someone by my side just to cover my loneliness? Isn’t that quite selfish and at the end of the day, it just won’t work out. I have been focusing on the wrong thing. I should work on the other more important things in my life than getting emotional over this…

I am a very random person but my logical mind does not compromise. I have learnt that my strong beliefs does not permit exceptions. What should be done and what ought not to be. It’s no point trying to change or accept something. It won’t take too long for me to breakthrough back into reality and my senses.

All my life, I don’t think there’s something that I want so much to work real hard for it. Not studies, not love, not whatever. There has to be a reason for this and that’s direction. I lack a self decided direction to work towards. The year’s ending in another week or so, next year I have to make a better resolution…

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